NIGHT RAMBLINGS

The Times of India’s Crest Edition on Saturday promised to deliver a lot – in-depth articles about the current socio political situation, articles that stimulates your mind, articles that provides questions and provokes answers. It would be so exclusive that if you do not book it you may risk the chance of missing it.

The daily edition of Times of India has become no more than an entertainment daily. It has got less and less of news (even if there is news they are all politically biased) and more of who’s wedding whom and how many times. I firmly believe the breed of investigating journalism, like in the movie,” The State of Play” is extinct. The featured articles on Sundays were also in a state of apathy till M J Akbar saved the day for them and Mr. Swaminathan Iyer returned sane from the lunatic asylum (you should read his articles two years back).

The Crest edition was not only a disappointment, but it showed how TOI lacks perspective. Or on the second count it may be that their research has found that today’s metro centric people want such articles.
I still miss “The Statesman” of the eighties (Mr. Sunanda K Dutta Roy – please come back, all is forgiven) and the promising start of “The Telegraph”.
Commercialism or pure lure for money has destroyed great institutions like “Indian Express”, “Jugantar” to name a few. The Hindu is struggling to keep its head up. While most newspapers struggle to get one full page advertisement, today’s TOI has six four color full page advertisements. One of my friend’s wife jokingly said that TOI is a great monthly earner – she earns more by selling the newspapers than she buys them for.

To commemorate the tragic events of 26/11/2008 there were lot of support shows/functions/rallies.
As usual there was a candle light walk to the Gate Way of India (which caused a lot of disturbance to the new inhabitants of the old monument – jawans from the Indian Army), release of a book by Mrs. Karkare (no offence, but if the book was released before hand then I think we could have shown some sensitivity to the issue at hand – I squarely blame the greedy, sympathy seeking publishers), chat shows on all television channels (TRP ratings were based on the decibel level).
Photograph of one such rally by a group of school going children was posted on Facebook. All boys were within twelve years, dressed in a specially made outfit of blue T shirt with red sleeves and a matching red shorts. They skated on the old Mumbai Pune highway. The parents, organizing committee followed them on bikes, cars etc.
The best part was the comments on the photographs complimenting how good the kids were onto skating and should be properly trained etc. (I cannot publish the photograph, maybe it will be against privacy policy.)
I think that I have the right to be cynical with this hypocritical, metro based selfish middle class society.

I always wonder why people living in the Gulf countries wish “Eid Mubarak” on the Facebook. Are they more secular than us or is it a feeling of insecurity? Whatever it is, hope they had a Happy Eid.

Confessions of a Social Activist and Fashion Designer

I am broke, I am bored and I am lost. Life was in full glory till January this year. Although the schedule was hectic, but I liked it as money was also flowing in. But after that came the lull as if to sympathize with the recession that followed with the global meltdown. It has been almost a year I am without any job, not exactly, there are freak shows here and there, but I miss the monolithic movements that pumped up my adrenalin.
The suppliers, whom I have shown the gates of Utopia, are now after my blood. They have invested on expansion based on my assumptions that one incident is not enough and things will definitely be repeated if not in Mumbai but elsewhere in the country. The “movements” will be the best and most grandiose in Mumbai, after all Mumbai rocks.

The designs I have crafted are in a state of putrefaction. I really wonder why the color of peace is white. It restricts my creativity in terms of choosing colors to go with it. All other movements allow my creativity to fly like a butterfly. I still remember the T shirt I designed for the “gay” movement. It was awesome and I received appreciation from all quarters. Mr. Mutalik still rates my designed pink lingerie as the best gift he ever received and wears it to all the rave parties he attends.

I am a full time social activist and a part time fashion designer. Being a fashion designer I pretend to be gay as this gives me more credibility in my line of profession. It also allows me to hug and take in my arms all the beautiful models; I love the feeling of warmth in their bosom.
Being a social activist is not an easy job, you need to keep tract of all local events, and you have to have your contacts, liaison with the ruling party and also the opposition.
Unlike Medha Patkar I have no particular choice, whether it is against forceful grabbing of land, death of farmers, construction of a dam, atrocities to workers in industries, I attend all where they pay me well.
Nowadays trade unions have lost their respect with common people and so they rely on neutral activists to get through their demands. The money is good, the job is safe, police are told not to treat us badly (today who is in power maybe in opposition tomorrow and we are friends with all), if the situations gets out of hand we are escorted out safely. Have you ever seen Medha Patkar ever shed a drop of blood in any of her “movements” or lose weight after the innumerable “fasts” she conducts? Magic and social movements are all slight of hand, you are there to be deceived, and however intelligent you are.
We have to maintain a team who will follow you through the movement. We take extreme care in script writing and keep it minimalistic, so that there is no error or confusion among the team. Have a look at any of Medha Patkar’s “movements” you will see the same people with her, whether she is in Narmada or in Akola or in Singur.

My favourite is “movement” for peace, its hassle free, well coordinated; you do not have to travel to godforsaken villages where you do not have a decent toilet facility or the warmth of an air conditioner or even a proper bed to rest after staging “fast” or shouting slogans.
Taking out peace processions, arranging loads of candles for the candle light procession to Gate Way of India, getting signatures of thousands of people (I am still using the back sheets for my rough sketches), appearing in television channels, blaming the politicians (off course we all had a nice round of drinks afterwards), writing posters, hugging live coverage. This is what gets me going in life.

After the 26/11 terror attacks there seems to be a recession also in terrorist activities. The prime time news is so boring nowadays. The new channels are losing their TRP’s to “Balika Badhu”.
Who is interested in India’s foreign policy, increase in rise of onions and potatoes, Madhu Koda swindling thousands of crores, or Manu Sharma (poor sweet guy) trying to enjoy a life after serving such a hard jail sentence?
I want news with action, real life reflection of what we see in movies, blood and blood galore. The 26/11 incident was a big hit in our circle, so many people lying in a pool of blood, AK47’s, grandees, firing – it was a real blockbuster and we knew that it will create a demand for us or we have to generate the demand.

Peace and all this nonsense are good in lectures and in political meetings. It is terror, crime, rape, vandalism, oppression, caste fights, debilitating democratic rights, social injustice which earns bread for us, the media and thousands who are in the ancillary support system including the police, judiciary and the political system.

So please rise and assert your rights, fight for injustice, create a fuss and we will be there to support you.
We can give PEACE a chance tomorrow.

Left is sometimes Right

A section of the Left Front government in West Bengal wants dissolution of the state assembly and to go for polls as early as possible. That would be a very prudent idea, but for the ones in power, abjuration is not that simple as it is said. The anger against the Left Front has reached its peak and there is no point in continuing with abject refusal by the polity every other day. Any new policies, any new development plans will be turned around them and rejected hands down – they have lost the face.

This is the right time to quit, as Gorbachov once said,” A party or a person who has been in power for too long is no more than a tyrant.” Left Front does not realise that there is no legitimate alternative to them – Trinomool Congress is riding on the wave of sympathy and on the apathy towards Left Front. Trinomool's win in the 2010 will ensure that Left Front comes back to power with triumphant majority in 2015. Why waste a year if the writing in the wall is clear?

Five years will be good enough to reinvent the grass root level cadre base for the left. The flab needs to be shed and running on the treadmill for five years will do more than what is prescribed. Five years will be a good enough time for the leftist turned sycophants to be sidelined unless they kick the bucket themselves. The situation for the Left is not as bad as the BJP; they only need to reinvent the method of communication. Pigeons may be the best way of reaching a message to the villages in sixties but now even Harimadhav or Rahim chacha has a 3G enabled iPhone. The Berlin Wall of Bengal is made of bricks of strong ideology gone wrong; so you need some time to break it.

Trinomool Congress is a bunch of clowns who are fooling around. They have never realised that they do not have any ideology or for the fact that you cannot run further with a borrowed idea. “Ma, mati ar manush” of Trinomool is no different from the land reform movement that the Left Front started in the sixties. Shabbir Kumar could not last long copying Mohammad Rafi – if Trinomool wants to last long they need to first invent the road on which they can walk for ever.

Running a government is not as easy as running Rajdhani Express on a dedicated fast track. It is more like a fifty coach “Samjhouta” Express running on a brick road instead of a track, chances of derailment is very high if there is no proper coordination. The question is can Ms. Banerjee keep his flock together when they taste blood in their hands. A tiger that just had a gazelle for lunch is much safer to the public than the one who has been starved for ages; Madhu Koda is a glaring example of that.

The crisis or we can say the pending crisis in Bengal proves a critical point that the people need to be more assertive in choosing their local representatives. They need to involve more in their political thinking rather than counting money and first of all they need to vote. If our perception of politics is mentally challenged then we land up with fascist regimes like the Left Front for thirty years. The opposition loses its bite, sitting in the opposition for so long and when the time comes to prove their mettle they are sometimes clueless. Maharashtra is going in the same direction as West Bengal with no credible opposition in sight people have to settle for the lesser evil.

Smart News: A senior journalist had referred the Bhatt’s as a “dysfunctional” family. I call this real, true journalism.

In the land of Snow White

I have a confession to make – I have become addicted to Big Boss 3 (“tritiya” as the original Big B says).
I can see the pseudo intellectuals covering their nose as my addiction stinks of the gutters of Mumbai but I care two hoots for their reactions.

The concept of the show is brilliant and I have great kudos for the person who would think of such a reality game show.
People from diverse background holed up together in a house under constant surveillance with no connection to the outside world. Their aim is to earn a living by doing tasks as told by Big Boss, manage the weeks livestock supply with the points earned, and finally to emerge as a winner among the housemates by being the ultimate survivor in the game of elimination.

This is group dynamics at its best. People go to management institutes to learn the strategy for survival in corporate world, conflict management, team building, and situational behavior.
The show proves that people are born innate with all the instincts. The inmates of the show are not men/women of letters, most of them are from the entertainment world, but still the way they reprise their roles in the situations given to them are laudable.

I think it is not new, we have done it in our lives and are still doing it. When we were in school we had a group of “close” friends both in school and outside school. We never realised that we were playing in the hands of group dynamics. The others were friends but not as special as the ‘our” group. The same followed through the college and now into office.
We had our favourite relatives from all the relatives we had. We did a mental selection of people around us and we never asked the reason for that. It was the way of the world we thought.

In workplace it is more vicious. The situation is quite different here. Unlike schools or colleges we do not have the privy to written examinations to stamp our superiority. The workplace is a dog eat dog world – anything is fair for the next higher position. Spreading rumour about the contender, sabotaging his work, oiling the boss for a better review in the “confidential file” – haven’t we seen it all in the Satyajit Ray movie “Seemabadhya”.

Those you had the opportunity of being in a joint family, the show is a reflection of their lifestyle – the family eats together, enjoys together but there are infightings, gossips, favourism, and adhocism, all inside the closed walls of the house. The only difference is that the family is not under constant surveillance.

People hate the show as it is a mirror, you see your reflection and it bites your conscience. No one likes to be told the truth let alone see the truth. We are happy in our shopping spree, dinner parties, and discussions about sex, money and Camus over a glass of wine.
We go to sleep thinking that the next day we need to run faster that the fastest of the comradriees to reach the goal or to find out a way of reaching the finish line without even running.

Enlarge the canvas, stretch it a bit to encompass the full society. No one would be ready to be under 24X7 surveillance. No one will like the whole world to see the way we conspire everyday to survive in this convoluted world.
We will all cry foul. It is a democratic country, we have our rights. We may take out candle light processions with fancy T shirts.
Yes, we do have our freedom of expression. The show is a big reminder to the fact that we, who shed crocodile tears over trivial issues, never ever realised the value of “freedom”.

We hate such shows just like we hate asking,” Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me who is the meanest of the all” – least it shows our own reflection.

Killing me softly with your Policies

Mr. Kapil Sibal, honourable minister for Human Resource Development has come up with a path breaking idea of abolishing the secondary level examinations in schools. In his view, students are subjected to unnecessary stress at a tender age, as all parents want their ward to succeed in such competitive examinations. The students should have the right to choose what they want to do in their life and not be forced by demanding parents.

I was watching an interview in one of the English speaking television channels where Mr. Sibal was putting his views to the audience along with principles of some renowned schools. The schools represented were all English medium and I can vouch for the fact that ninety percent of the students of these schools get dropped in their family vehicles, if not their personal one.

Mr. Sibal said that if a student is interested in music and wants to peruse music as his career then he should not be bogged down by dry subjects like geography or solid geometry (one thing I agree with the honourable minister, I never could fathom till now what we achieved by studying solid geometry). He should be like a free bird, hopping from one branch of the tree to another, before settling down on the branch of his choice and interest.

In Bangalore, where I live now, we have a lady who comes everyday and does our household work. Her husband used to work in a factory as an electrician, but the factory closed down. She was forced to pick up her current profession to support her family and also to continue her children’s education. She has got a son and a daughter and both a bright students. The girl is brighter that the boy and she ranks within the first three in her class.
Every term when results are out, Sharda, would proudly bring the report cards to show to us. That is her pride for which she is ready to do anything.
Her husband after losing his job was working in a small laundry, where he used to press clothes. For last three months he is out of job as the laundry downsized.
Last week Sharda came crying to us as she has not paid her children’s school fees for last two months and the school has threatened to throw them out – we helped her out.

Today we are here, tomorrow we may not be here, and tomorrow who will be here may be a miserly beast. Where will Sharda go? Where will she find the money to support her children’s education? Maybe we will see the older daughter helping her mother out to earn their daily bread.

This is not an incident in isolation. I do not have the privy to the right statistics but I believe that more than seventy percent of the students drop out before they reach the tenth standard. They do not leave to pursue their music career but to unravel the mystery of the solid geometry called survival.

We, who are privileged, who are educated and remains confined within the secured perimeters of our make believe world, will debate about the merits of Mr. Sibal’s policy – but when hunger knocks on your door it’s rice and salt that matters and not policy.

The right to education for all children is what we should strive for, not such hypocritical ideas of HRD minister and his lick arse“chamchas’.

Wasted Life

The Great Indian tamasha is almost over, except for the last jitters in government formation. Mr. Karunanidhi is caught in the crossfire between his party and his three wives. At this ripe age of nearly eighty it is a tough call to satisfy all your better halves.

This is the first time I followed the elections from the word go to the end. It was riveting experience. I remembered the times when we were in our college days. We used to blow a storm over coffee cups over political matters. Born and bred in Kolkata, my heart was always red with anger against the capitalist imperialism. Maybe that was one of the reasons I never ever dreamt of going to U S of America. The other reason, which was more pronounced, was the death of Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead in 1995. That was the last nail in the coffin. The charm of USA was gone in the thin air.

As we moved in our career our views on politics got limited to the headlines on newspapers. It was just a passing look before we shifted to the last section of sports or the business news. The movements in stock market prices reflected in our blood pressure rather than the social injustices of the society we are a part of. We became a part of the society which enjoyed the “breaking news” on electronic media and felt satisfied of doing our bit by scribbling a bit in social networking sites – this writing is a perfect example of that.

We enjoyed the train blasts in Mumbai and wondered why do still people travel in trains, we saw the gruesome murder of young Arushi and hoped for some filthy gossips rather than finding out the real culprits, we saw the massacre of the twenty odd children brutally killed by some psychopaths in Noida, Delhi and wondered why the parents allow their children to work as household servants, we were glued to the television watching the rescue operation at Taj, Mumbai and then joined the candlelight protests at gateway of India and all along we had groups being formed in “Facebook” for each of these incidents.
And we did ourselves proud of becoming a “fan” of these groups.

Then after the elections we forecasted as wise men that India has voted for stability, secularism and good governance, although we never voted ourselves (1. Oh! it was just so hot outside, 2. How many times do we get such a long weekend, let's make the best out of it, 3. Thank goodness, it's a holiday, I had so much catching up to do.).

We went back to our cubicles doing our daily work, shopping, having fun with the satisfaction that we have played our role as an ideal citizen on India.

Have we lost the plot somewhere?
In Kolkata in the sixties people came out in the street, burnt buses, demonstrated against government because the bus fare was increased by ten paisa.
Were they not people like us, were they the youth who had lost their sense of direction? Who were those people who braved the bayonets for the sheer ideology of social justice?

All I know for sure is that they were not us, they were not the people who have lost their backbone to some cushy jobs and have made “speed money” a part of Oxford dictionary.

It's Springtime In Deutschland

It’s Fruhling in Germany and this is the best time to visit Germany - April to June.
The weather during the five days of Hannover was nothing but endearing. Though the temperature varied from 9 to 22°C but the sun kept us all warm and smiling.

We stayed in a small hotel called Oehlers in the outskirts of Hannover, in a place called Empelde. The hotel was a family run business – small and really comfortable.
Hannover is the capital of the State of Lower Saxony and the food served in the hotel was typical of the region.
Spring time also has a surprise for the taste buds – the time of spargels (asparagus). Spargels grow only in spring and that to for a period of 6-8 weeks. It is a real delicacy in Germany and I believe has a lot of respect in international cuisine.
I had spargel soup every night for dinner along with a dish that served boiled spargel along with. The hotel had two menu cards – one especially for spargels called ‘Spargelkarte”.
All the dishes were served with a bunch of steamed hot boiled spargels and “Hollandishe Sauce” to go along with. You could have any kind of meat or fish as the part of the dish and some boiled potatoes and liquid butter to go with.
The hotel also served a special white wine called “Frulingsbote” that goes well with spargel.
You all can imagine that I was never starved during this trip to Germany.

Hannover Fair was as usual a great event but this time it looked more diminutive in terms of grandeur. The participating companies have scaled down on their marketing spending, the number of overseas visitors was less and that vibe was missing.
A taxi driver told me that the population of Hannover is around five hundred thousand. In the early nineties the number of visitors for Hannover Fair exceeded the population of the city. Now it hovers around one to two hundred thousands. Europe has become very costly in recent years and Hannover Messe International has decentralized the fair. They now have similar fairs in India, China and other places with more local & global companies joining the sphere.

The companies that are still spending a lot are the Utilities and the power generating companies – mostly from the wind energy sector. Whatever happens, we cannot live without air and air conditioning – so utilities will laugh their way to banks, no matter whatever is the state of economy.

I was lucky to get upgraded to Business class on my way to Hannover. Saw Quantum of Solace, Marley and me and Rock On!, drank a lot of white wine and Baileys.
Spoke to Jodu (Joydeep Ghosh) after a long time. He tried to impress me with his German - I am impressed, Mr. Ghosh.

On and all was a good trip, so till next time, amigos,
Auf Wiedersehen

Travelling Wilburys - End of tour for the time being.

Last week we traveled to Neyveli by car. It took nearly six hours to cross a stretch of nearly 400 kms. We drove through Hosur, Krishnagiri, Thiruvanamalai and Villupuram to reach Neyveli. This time we started early in the morning so as to spare the adventure of traveling all night long, as we did on our way to Dandeli.
We stopped at Thiruvanamalai, famous for the Arulmigu Annamalaiyar Temple.
The temple has a Lord Siva lingam and devotional tourism has made this small town out of nowhere buzzing with activities. As far we could count there were more than 12 ATMs in this small town. All such temple towns have a legend associated with them and I found the story of Thiruvanamalai quite interesting.

“Lord Bramha, the creator of the Universe and Lord Vishnu (Thirumal in Tamil), the Protector entered into a controversy among themselves so as to ascertain who was the greatest. Lord Siva was asked to be the judge. Lord Siva told them that whoever was able to see his crown as well as his feet would be termed as the greatest. Then Lord Siva transformed himself into a Jyothi (a column of fire) touching the heaven and earth.
Vishnu took the avatar of varaha (wild boar) and dug deep into the earth to find Siva's feet but at last accepted defeat. Bramha took the form of a swan and flew to see the crown of Siva. Unable to see the crown, Bramha saw a ketaky (thazhambu in Tamil/ Screw pine in English) flower which had decked Siva's crown falling down. He asked the flower as to the distance of Siva's crown whereby the flower replied that he had been falling for forty thousand years. Bramha, realizing that he would not be able to reach the crown asked the flower to act as a false witness.
The ketaky flower acting as a false witness declared that Brahma had seen the crown. Siva became angry at the deception and cursed that Bramha should have no temple on earth and that the thazhambu flower should not be used while praying to Lord Siva. The place where Lord Siva stood as a column of fire to eliminate the ego is Thiruvanamalai.”

I find these mythological stories fascinating because of their use of “magical realism”. I believe all writers of “magical realism” are influenced by the stories of Upanishads or simply by Ramayana & Mahabharata.

The stretch of Tamilnadu we passed through is full of mango orchards. My friend told me that the region boasts of at least twenty different types of mangoes.

The Neyveli Township is quite small compared to the townships of Bhillai, Bokaro or Rourkela. The township is abundant with cashew trees and next to lignite; cashews are a big source of income for Neyveli Lignite Corporation.
The next day we went to mines and saw the man machines in action. Bucket wheel excavators, stackers & reclaimers, all sizes of five to six story buildings working in the open cast mines.
They have dug the earth so deep that it seems like you are on the top of a hill when you look down at the machines in the mines.
We could not take our SUV inside the mine, as we needed to do a particular brake test, as per safety guidelines. The driver who took us to the mine told us that the temperature soars to more than 45 during peak summer and it’s a nightmare working in the mines then.

Pondichery is only seventy kms from Neyveli. We drove down one evening to Pondichery and strolled along the cornice. The cornice was neatly maintained. The tea/coffee vendor requested us at least thrice to throw the empty cups in the dustbins. Pondichery was a French settlement and still all offices and streets (mostly along the sea) bear a French name. We could not go to Auroville, which is around ten kms from the sea beach. But there is always a next time.

In the last two business trips I have learned a lot about rural India. It was really an eye opener. The concept of village kids running after a motor car is in the archives of NFDC, picking up dust. The village people seem to be more empowered and they seem to know their role in this society.
They are proud of what they are and what they do.

Week on the Road - MTV Roadies esthyle

Last week we traveled for 22 hours covering nearly 1200 kilometers on road.
We first went to a place called Dandeli in North Karnataka, some 460 km off Bangalore. The road from Bangalore to Hospet was really world class. We paid Rs150 on toll but it was worth more.
From Hospet the road to Dandeli was through a forest, not so dense, but we could see a fox or two on the road.
In south they say that if you see a fox early in the morning, the day will be good. It worked for us.
We never thought it would take nine hours for the journey, including relaxed breaks for dinner and some intermittent tea/cigarette breaks. We reached Dandeli at 4:30 a.m.
Dandeli is located on the banks of River Kali, the river originates somewhere nearby and hence the place is famous for adventure sports like white water rafting.
Before anyone even confers to the idea that we traveled to Dandeli for white water rafting, I should say at the same breath that the place has one of the largest paper mills in India – West Coast Paper mills and they are under 100% capacity expansion.
Unfortunately that was our only rafting idea, getting some business out of the huge expansion money cake.
Except for the West Coast Guest house there is no decent hotel in Dandeli. Most of the resorts or camps are 20 to 30 km of Dandeli. There is a tourist lodge opposite the main bus terminus and we shared a room for four for Rs 800. Reminded me of the college days when we used to do budget traveling.
The travel from Dandeli to Bellary was for 6 hours and we reached at two in the night. The road was good except for a bad patch of two km while entering Bellary. Bellary is a small but rich town in Karnataka known mostly for iron ore mining (mostly illegal). Mercedes Benz, Audi and BMWs are like local taxis in Bellary.
Some people have grown rich through illegal mining but the city remains quite underdeveloped, despite the attention it receives from the media, mostly for wrong reasons. Murders are like daily happenings and all miners are politically connected.
JSW has one of the biggest steel plants near Bellary is a place called Thornagalu. They are under expansion from seven to ten million tons. The house keeping of the steel plant is really outstanding and so are the visitor facilities like canteens, waiting areas etc.
On the second day in JSW I fell sick. There must have been something in the breakfast which the body could not take.
The next day we traveled back to Bangalore. We covered 306 km on the National Highway 4 and reached Bangalore from the Tumkur side.
What I noticed is a great improvement in the infrastructure of the country. I am sorry, if I had commented adversely, but really something is happening. The private public partnership (PPP) concept is really working.
I firmly believe that within next ten years we will have infrastructure equivalent to most modern countries.
Work is in progress and in a methodical way. Technology is used to the fullest. You can see big dumpers, diggers and other construction equipments and all workers wearing helmets and safety shoes. You feel proud when you see the developments touching people who really count rather than we, city dwellers who has ample opportunity to defend for them.
Developments are undeterred by the government in centre, whoever comes has to carry on with it. Now governance will be rooted more to developments because people have realized the power they can wield.
My journey continues on monday at 8 a.m.
Amen!!

Shop Lifting & Pink Lingerie

We went out shopping today. No, let me put forward in right words, went to the supermarket to pick up groceries. There's also few sections up & down which you can designate as "pure" shopping areas. There are no " Everyday Low Prices" tag but in today's condition the discount tag is always above half a century.
We wanted to buy some vegetables and some munchy crunchy stuff and as usual landed with things mostly we will never ever require.

I present myself as a logical, reasonable & matured animal being to the other species that dominate this planet. But in spite I never found out why my legs twitter when I enter the supermarket. When I see prices which are far below the " MRP" my legs thunder, I feel that the end of the world is near by and if I do not buy that today, I can never.

My wife tells me that she will make a huge cupboard just for my compulsive buyouts, like my shares and Mutual Funds. Maybe after some time she will be in a position to open a grocery herself.

We wanted to buy some clothes for the little one. This thing baffles me more that anything in the world. Why are childerens clothing way costlier then grown up male? They charge you for the little piece of "shit", which will pass as my hankerchief, more than my entire suit put together.
It's also like when my wife goes to a salon to cut her hair, they charge her the money that will pass for my next ten haircuts. And every time she has to tell me that she had a haircut.

I can see LOGIC jumping out of the window.

Usually on weekends the supermarket gets crowded, but not today. Today was Valentine's Day and every one had gone to the church to pray. It will not be much of a time when Valentine surpasses the credibility and popularity of Jesus.
I will wait for Vatican's reaction to that.

On last count the number of "Pink Underwear" was 97865342 and now they are putting as per sizes. The exporters have cued up. Within next two weeks neighboring countries will be flooded with "underwear" at special prices.

Ms. Shoba De's Pink Lingerie will be auctioned, but after a week. Mr. Mutalik just wants to feel comfortable after such stressful incidents.
I will be the highest bidder, because I am willing to blow away my life earnings just to get hold of that Pink Lingerie of Ms. De.

Be My Valentine

Tomorrow is February 14th - Valentine's Day. This Valentine thingy is too much in the news after the Mangalore Pub incident. Peolple have formed forums in Facebook and will be sending "Pink Underwear" to one Mr. Mutalik of a "till known unknown Shri Ram Sene". Mr. Mutalik in retaliation will be buying sarees to all the senders - hope all senders are female, otherwise a man in a saree will be totally out of Indian culture & tradition.

Ms. Chowdhury, our beloved minister for "women & child developement" is off late quite silent. By the way, do we have something like minister for " men & child developement". Never heard of, but madam Mayavati would be a good candidate.
Question is, are women still so underdeveloped that they need a ministry for their developement?
I would have had doubts, but after this "pink underwear" campaign I have no more doubts. Looks like who ever is part of the Facebook community needs serious development.

Today someone supported the "pink underwear" campaign saying that it was a Gandhi like strategy laced with non violence and humour.Journalists are quite new to such new incidents over something called "valentine". All journalists are in the age braket 45+ and duiring their collage days Valentine was not in the syllabus - so they really do not know what to say.
Whatever they say feels like overtly bloated like a dead dog in a ditch.

Good for the courier company - they are busy making the moolah.Sarees & underwear - please don't get the adress wrong.

Just saw a debate in Times Now about this whole issue. As usual Shoba De was there looking radiant in the pink dress with dark yellow bids necklace & ear rings and the dark pink lipstick. She was all pink and I was all violet (thats the color for overtly horny from today).Who will say she turned 60 few days back. Can I be your Valentine, Ms De? Mr De would never mind. He has hit his menopause.

There was a someone in the show, fully covered in black veil. Don't know male or female. Who cares, so long as you can see Ms. De.

I will have a good night today thinking about Ms De and her Pink Underwear.
Tomorrow I can think of Mr. Mutalik wearing the same used one.

Hopefully by 15th, the biggest ever crisis faced by the country will be put to rest.

Short Skirts & Spraghetti Straps

“First they were arrested for the mere offence of partying in a farmhouse and put in jail. Then they were accused of consuming drugs without any trace of evidence………So two nights in a row in the jail house for the sin of wanting to dance and, maybe drink in a city that doesn’t know the meaning of “fun” anymore.” – First page headlines in India’s most influential, mostly read, benefactor of people by providing unbiased news – The Times of India.

I have noticed that in last six months after BJP government took power in Karnataka, the English media is hand in glove against the regime. The reasons are pretty clear. Bangalore, where the English media has its sway, is fairly populated by a huge young crowd. They are mostly attached to BPO and not being judgmental, I have doubts on their social or political acumen.
The tirade against the present government has increased after the announcement of elections.

Moral policing is the only focus issue with the English media. It started with the infamous “Mangalore Pub” incident. Renuka Chowdhury called the BJP government of Talibanisation. Women groups joined together to sent pink underwear to Mr. Mutalik. Nirmala Venkatesh was axed as she could not put anything provocative in her investigation. None of the girls beaten up came out in front of the media, never ever their parents stood up in protest against “Ram Sene”. The neighbors are more pained than the sufferers.
We saw debates in all English television channels for nearly a month. We forgot about the bomb blast in Mumbai, Ahmedabad, Bangalore, forgot about the daily wrong doings by the high & mighty of the society, and glorified ‘short skirts and spaghetti straps”.

Now they are back with vigor. Hundred people were arrested in a PARTY, held in the outskirts of Bangalore in a farmhouse owned by the state secretary of erstwhile Congress Deputy Chief Minister. The media were not allowed in the site, so whatever they write are nothing more than hearsay and that is the best thing they can do to provoke the young minds in Bangalore.
“What is the definition of scantily dressed? Are short skirts and spaghetti straps indecent?” – Quips “The Times of India”.
In Europe there are many beaches where you cannot enter if you are wearing clothes. For them wearing clothes in a “nude” beach is indecent.
So decency is a perception, the way you are brought up in a well defined culture and society. For fanatics in Afghanistan, women without a hizab are indecent. We do not make a hue and cry about the things in the world. The same newspaper rues after every Lakme fashion show that Indian women are giving up sari for western dresses. What a dichotomy?

In CNBC TV18 an anchor threw a question at a panel, if a man comes home after a stressful day after eight and he just wants to hang his hair down, can’t he go to a pub and have a couple of drinks or dance his stresses away.
The question is justified and I wanted the same when I was in Mumbai. I wanted to go after a stressful day and have a glass of bear in a “Ladies Bar”. Why did the Maharashtra government shut down those bars on grounds of indecency?
No one raised a finger when Maharashtra government went ahead and closed all bars. Why, because it never affected the so called English speaking crowd. Who cares for the masses?

We are there to write for Shoba De, Alec Padamsee and the entire nonsense breed who gives a damn about India or its culture.

HUMPTY DUMPTY !!

1. He was wearing two different color socks today. White & Black. A pretty good combination. No one noticed in the beginning until he folded the trousers a bit to expose his socks.

2. He tried to eat with left hand. It was so hard to hold the spoon and he spilled half the food.

3. There was a red stripped snake in the campus. The campus is in a godforsaken place, out in the wilderness. People can come here with their family to have a picnic. We come to work everyday.
We work where snakes live. Tomorrow snakes will work where we live.

4. The guards shoved the snake away with a pink stick.The stick turned green with envy.

5. She snored the whole evening like there is no tomorrow.
Have you heard a young woman snore so loud? I have.

6. A pink house is made of pink brick, a red house is made with red brick, a white house in made with white brick. Then why do people say a "Greenhouse" is made of glass.

7. People should never stay in glass houses. They will turn Green.

8. Windmills produce clean energy. The energy we use in house is dirty,filthy. We should stop using the same. Let's stay in darkness.

9. People will be happy in darkness, at least they cannot see who is making faces at them.

10. America is capital of United States of America, says an American.

Physics, Metaphysics & Spirituality

I was so impressed by a write-up by Mr. Deepak Ranade that I thought of putting it down in my notes.

They say matter and energy are inter-convertible. Matter is present in various energy states which are temperature dependent. The higher the temperature greater is the energy. All boils down to the behavior of the atoms and molecules. Water has three states dependent on the temperature. At normal temperatures its fluid, when the mercury goes negative, it becomes ice and when we subject the same to higher temperatures it vapourises. At higher temperature the disorder in the molecules increases and in lower temperature in decreases. In physics they call this as entropy. It represents the excitability and chaos of the molecules that constitute matter.

When matter is cooled to very low temperatures – to absolute zero (this is not minus zero but minus 273) then the entropy should decrease and matter should come to zero energy state. This zero energy state in physics is called Bose – Einstein condensate (In school level physics we were not taught all this metaphysical stuff, now I realize what I missed). This state of matter is also called super atom as the entire mass behaves like one big single atom. But thiese “big”, “single” adjectives are misnomer as in this state the mass (atom) loses all its properties like shape, charge & polarization. It probably reverts to a shapeless, attributeless phenomenon, reverting to just the potential to manifest as anything.
The mass becomes a literally “IT”.

The human brain in an aggregate of nearly hundred billion neurons. This is the main control station of the body. The thoughts that crowd our minds is a sum total of the simultaneous activity of different neurons. The structure of our body is so advanced that even the tiniest of activities is sensed by the neurons and translates as an activity or a feeling through the connectivity of the neural network.
If the entropy in the brain is high people will find it harder to concentrate. You cannot write a poem standing in a busy loudly market. But closing your eyes help. The sensory organs serve as an important pathway to increase the entropy as they stimulate various neural circuits adding to the entropy. All the five senses we have are constantly searching for signals and these signals are processed by the brain simultaneously.
When you concentrate, there is a resultant decrease in the disorder of the neural system. By switching of your sensory organs and concentrating you can reduce the chaos of the neurons. Just like matter attains a zero state as near Absolute zero levels, in the state of meditation you reach the same condition. The neural stimuli decrease in amplitude and frequency. As the level of meditation increases, the entropy of neuron decreases and a state of calmness is perceived. The neurons start becoming synchronous. That is they neither modulate nor amplify any signal. They just resonate in harmony. This dance of harmony continues until final state of zero entropy arises, where all 100 billion neurons function as one big single neutron.
The Bose- Einstein condensate equivalent of the neuron system is what may be termed as Samadhi – what we lesser mortals call as “kicking the bucket” and little learned ones as “enlightenment”.
The soul leaves the vessel (body) and has the potential to manifest as anything.

Where physics ends spirituality begins.

INSANITY !!

I have tried putting down my thoughts in different ways, writing letters to unknown people, starting blogs (five in total) and talking to myself. None was effective enough and in the end I was left struggling with my inner senses and chaos that has become a regular feature on the right side of the brain.
The other problem was when I used to write something, I could not find the right words. All were jumbled up like a lump of ice, felt like throwing it at someone, but every time I threw it bounced back and hit me.
People would call this stage as the first step of insanity, I would prefer to be insane rather than living in this sane world, where insanity is viewed as a premium. Coming back to my thoughts, there is really nothing new. That’s what I feel as I could never put it down systematically, logically & effectively.
What if my thought reads like a maniac? What if it throws up something unusual, even I do not know? Do we have control of our thoughts, we think we have and that is the reason we have coined a term called “sub consciousness”. Isn’t it a dichotomy?
I was reading in the newspaper few days back. It proclaimed that the most effective decisions are taken in sub conscious mind. Like when you are sleeping, day dreaming or taking a siesta. It is always a mystery who conducts all these tests and what is the validity of these tests. Newspapers have produced millions of information (both useful & pathetic) from the day they started printing them. Sometimes I wonder, are all true or they manufacture news to fill up the volumes?
People is China have taken to snoring to beat the recession blues- a figment of someone’s imagination.
Now if my thoughts veer around such ambiguous, imaginary, chaotic subjects – what is the world going to perceive me as?
Insane? Maybe.
But people will gulp up every word that comes in print formats – books, periodicals, newspapers and obviously the biggest of all media - television.
My thoughts can be as crazy as your daily bit of news, but please don’t call me insane till I get the same clarified by some test results.
I will come back with more thoughts after I collect some.

MUMBAI - Down & Out

The television channels are still rambling with the Mumbai news. Fighting with each other for TRP ratings.
In Chennai there is DJ festival going on. Tickets are in demand. Ian Anderson will be jamming with Anoushka Shankar in Palace Grounds, Bangalore. There was a blast in Assam. A body was found in a suitcase in Mumbai. L&T stocks can see a further dip – that’s what an analyst in NDTV Profit declares. My son is watching a music channel.
That's India - my friend. Too big for anyone's imagination and the people - equally diverse in their thinking & behavior.
The news channel says that people are venting anger on politicians. Good, its their democratic right, but who represents the common man in television channel – socialites?
Yesterday Barkha Dutt of NDTV ensembled a bunch of socialites. Simi Gerwal, Prasoon Joshi, Luke Kenny (my God, this guy needs a Hindi translator), Ness Wadia etc. The zoo was full house. Simi Gerwal was looking as young as ever - maybe she had spent atleast 2-3 hours in her dressing room before coming to the show.

Everyone said,"Enough is Enough". "The politicians cannot be tolerated anymore".
So what do we do? Throw out the politicians and have anarchy.
Have a land where people make their own rules, take justice upon them - go a few million years back and pay tribute to our ancestors.

I have not seen a single discussion where anything concrete came out. It cannot. You cannot make a judgment out of haste. Idea of bombing Pakistan is as wild as a poet’s imagination. For God’s sake, there are some protocols. If we do what America did in Iraq, then how can we blame U.S. in the same breadth?
The times are disturbing. Yes, emotions will run high, people will give vent to their pent up feelings. But does that mean we resort to anarchy, like the television channels are provoking.
India is a democracy and we are proud of that. But the channels are making us feel that we cannot trust the processes any more. Constitution was only a bestseller 50 years back and now reduced to a mere paper weight.

We can translate our anger into action, in four months time, in the next general elections. But during that period Simi Gerwal will be in London, Ness Wadia will be busy in deal making, Luke Kenny will be busy making a jingle for Channel V - no one will have the time to vote and choose a right representative.
Mahesh Bhatt - lets not even waste a letter on this guy.
Lastly, English media knows they are a bunch of hypocrites. They know they reach to 5% of the population but behave in a way that they will change the face of the society.
Please Socialites, there is life beyond the glamour of metros, we have something called villages, where more than 70% of the population leaves.
Don’t even dare going there, lest you damage your Dolce & Gabbaña.

Those who lost their near & dear ones will still be grieving in the darkness, while the television channels will be busy fighting for TRPs.

India - R.I.P.

I Don't DREAM Anymore

What could a man in his late thirties dream about?
I often have nightmares, because dreams have become a luxury.
Dreams transform with age and so do age with dreams.
Gone are the days when you would be romancing with Merlyn Monroe in Casablanca.
Now you wake up in shiver thinking about your family’s future.
Not everything is so bad at it seems like in nightmares, neither life is that colorful as it is in dreams.
That’s why reality is so sweet.
A morning cup of flavored Darjeeling tea with home made cookies makes you think, what a waste it would have been if you were not born as a human.
When your child runs up to you and you enjoy the innocence in his face, then you know dreams are only an interpretation meant for Freud and you are far luckier to live life like any other normal people.

Philosophy imparts knowledge and tries to make logic as a guiding factor for your sustenance. I reasoned everything in life but not now.
Too many unanswered questions pull you down; you forget your sense of survival.
Dreams are unrealistic answers to unanswered questions, and it appears only when you are sleeping.

When your son smiles in his sleep you know he is not dreaming, because he does not know what dream is. And you never bother to find out why he smiles, but you stare at him and enjoy the smile and wish he smiled like this for ever & ever.

My Long Lost Friend

This was my second face off with my friend Hypertension. Last time we met was way back in 2004 and that time too he made it sure that I give him quality time - so i was in hospital for 2 weeks.
This friend of mine is quite demanding. He never knocks on doors or gives you any intimation of his coming. When he arrives he needs full attention.
On 28th July came back from Bombay with a sore throat. As it became a bit severe went to check with the doctor. Then only I realised that my friend has already arrived.
My BP was whopping 230/150. The doctor was more scared than me.
He was fumbling - "You know with su ..ch pressure your thi...n blood cells ca..n bre..ak and caaa..use a hea..rt att...ackkk."
No, Sir, I don't but if you can prevent it I shall be grateful.
"Sister, immediate hospitalization for this young patient".

Even during those times it was nice to hear someone referring to me as YOUNG.

The next 6 days had an intimate relation with HTN. We chatted all day all night, slept together in the small hospital bed, played hide and seek with the nurses - BP was always fluctuating and HTN also invited Diabetes to be a good friend of mine.
It was an eventful week and I landed up with another new friend - DIABETES.

I don't even thing my wife gets so much of devotion, dedication that I give to HTN.
But, HTN also comes once in 4 years - I think it is worth it, but I have to reduce his visits.
And, doctor - I will take care of my Thin Blood cells and hence NO SMOKING.
I have to live for my LITTLE DEVIL.

Last Friday we had been to a nightclub in Bur Dubai. One of our friends have joined Siemens and the treat was part of his entry tax to Dubai.
The night club is located in the York Hotel - just don't remember the name of the club.I had been to this place when I first came to Dubai and before my wife joined me. You know how wives are!!
The place was totally crowded,even now it is crowded and there were more ladies than men.That equation also hold true now.Let me clarify one point at this time,which might not fit into everyones equation.These ladies are pure businesswomen and they do things better than your perception of your wife doing the same.
When I first went, the place was crowded with women mostly from eastern block countries like Ukraine,Romania, Bulgaria,Latvia and all those countries belonging to earlier Russian Federation or the Iron Block countries.
Hey even if you did not indulge in business discussions, the drinks went down smoothly and it was good both for the mind and body and off course your eyes.This time was a real shocker - all women are from China, Korea. Not a single one from those eastern Europe.
We realized that when Chinese makes an entry into any field in a market, they just kill the market with cheap prices. So much so that they have driven an entire community away.It was purely volume business and a price related entry.
Cheap and comfort that you expect out of cheap products.Along with the absence of European ladies the nature of men also changed. Now there are mostly Asians swinging to Desi Music.
Every women will come up to you and say,"India, good country. I like India." even if you are from Pakistan or Bangladesh.
We also are facing the same problem in our business - we have to face competition from Chinese products and we are having a tough time.Either we bring down our prices or we perish, or we shift our manufacturing location to China.But for human beings that might not be possible. Shade!!

Mixed Feelings

My two year stint in Dubai will end in September, this year.Mostly because of problems at work I could never get to love this country, I always wanted to catch the next flight back to home.

It took full two years to get my return ticket, one way.

But as the day comes closer you feel something around you. I think its true for all. If you stay in a place for more than an year you have a sense of attachment.

Apsara Supermarket, which we started referring to as ours, the dry cleaner who never came on time until & unless called upon, long wait for home delivery from Karachi Darbar, the shawarma guy near Apsara, who made it as per our taste (hot, more chilies, a little more, no tomatoes,some more chillies please) and Burjuman, where we spent lovely moments - my wife looking for apparels and me birdwatching.

Hmmm!! you can't get the best of all. Life has it's own rules, we have to play as per that.

N.B. Indrani, will be flying Emirates only.

Lies,Damn Lies & Statistics !!

I was too bored at work today. Lying, lying and lying to my beloved customers. They also realize that I am lying but they really want to hear me “lying”.
Everyone knows Sales people makes the world look like heaven before getting an order or closing a deal and after that they show the real movie – the Hell in full glory.
But it’s a funny game everyone enjoys playing – both the customers & the suppliers. The customers will always press for deliveries and suppliers will always give reasons for late delivery.

I heard one of my colleague telling a customer (this customer is also beloved),” Sir!! How can you be so selfish? There’s a full blown war going on in Lebanon and you are worried about your materials. Now we are too much focused on the war. Please bear with us till the war is over.”
Good thinking I would say. But after half an hour another guy from the same customer calls up and tells my colleague,” Boss, we are desperate. We got an order to ship the materials to Lebanon. It’s for the Army. I think it’s your duty to help us now.”
We talk about smart sales guys – what an underestimation?

I am trying hard to figure out a structured way of lying – Hey!! It’s not that easy. It’s like a chess game. You lie, and then you think about all the possible questions or replies you will get and then frame another lie to counter all such individual questions and it goes on & on. At the end the brighter of the two players win.
Either Karpov or Kasparov.

IIM to Tirupati - a Spiritual Journey

Three decades after the temples were destroyed and scriptures burned during the Cultural Revolution, Buddhism is making a comeback in China. Nearly eight percent of the population follows Buddhism making it the second biggest religion after Communism. There are 13,000 Buddhist temples having 2 million monks and nuns and the number is rapidly increasing.
This is not the main news.
Piety and knowledge of Buddhist scriptures used to qualify one to be a Chinese monk. Now, add computer knowledge skills, foreign language ability and degree in financial management.
And like most things in the super competitive, rapidly developing country, it’s become both big business and a field in which people are eager to get ahead.
That’s creating a new breed of multi-tasking, tech-savvy, upwardly mobile monks.
Hui Jui, the Deputy General Manager of 120 year old Jade Buddha temple has just completed his degree in Business Administration and the next batch of monks has already enrolled themselves for the next batch.

Now turn to Tirupati, the home of Lord Sri Venkateshwara. This is the second busiest and richest religious centre after Vatican. The annual turnout is to the tune of 12 million people per year and the temple receives in donation about 10 billion rupees per year.
The temple is run by a trust – TTD and the chairman is appointed by the Andhra Pradesh Government, an IS officer.

What has made Tirupati so different from other religious places?
I believe someone had the foresight to develop the place as a huge Corporation.
Religion is one thing but how to attract people to the temple, the same question that hunts the churches in the Europe & America.
What Tirupati sells is Faith and it has built its brand on this attribute.
Look at the facilities provided by them, place to stay- low cost, no frills but comfortable.
The queues are immaculately maintained, VIPs are treated separately.
The famous Tirupati “Laddos” are made in mass with the same quality standard – as a part of line extension now they are available in your city, neatly packed along with blessings.
Tonsuring is done in a separate area and hair is made to good use to protect the ones who don’t have (wigs).
And can you imagine managing 10 billion per year?You have to pay the priests, create hierarchy and ensure responsibilities.
What do you call this but for an Organization?
TTD maintains its own website and it’s very professionally done.
TTD maintains 12 temples and sub shrines and employs 14,000 people.
And TTD runs it quite professionally and makes profit every year – anything to learn from?

Du Bai or not To Buy

It’s been nearly 8 months I am in Dubai but still I am trying to hide the fact from people where I exactly am. This may be mainly because of the fact that I do not find solace in this place, but then I realized that the place as per say has done no harm to me. It’s mostly related to professional satisfaction that one derives out of his/her job.
Coming into terms with this situation I decided to put my thoughts about Dubai or say Middle East per say in my blog.
More you stay in this country more fascinated you are.
There are lot of topics I want to write about , but being uninitiated in the field of writing I, first of all beg pardon from my readers. My thoughts may skip jump & hop faster than a frog but then you know that I am no Gabriel Garcia Marquez. You may find that there is no fluidity in my writing but that’s when I need your constant feedback so that I can develop my skills a little bit. Everyone is not born a Rabindranath Tagore.

Anyways let’s start with November 15th 2005, the day I landed in Dubai from Mumbai. There is a saying,”Cool dudes buy from Dubai & fat Mom’s shop in Mumbai”. I don’t know how true it is but yes, one thing for sure; they maintain the temperature quite cold in the malls.

O.K. no more jumping around. The journey from Airport to the Hotel Apartment – “Golden Sands 9” was quite impressive. Neat & Clean roads with some forced greenery on the side roads, huge buildings on either side of the road – it creates an ambience of overindulgence around it.

Let’s start with Golden Sands 9. I am very particular about this 9. Because there are eleven Golden Sands & nine Silver Sands. All are Hotel Apartments and depending on your number you have different facilities. The area where “Sands” are located is called Bur Dubai.
Now a little bit of geography. Take a plain white piece of paper. Fold it in to halves. Label the left as Diera and the right as Bur Dubai – Karama. That’s Dubai geography for you. The line that you get by folding the paper is the Dubai Creek.
Diera is old city, more like Mumbai 20 years hence and Bur Dubai - Karama is like New York say 8 years ago.
Now put this paper in a table. If you leave the paper and travel further left (North) you will be traveling towards Sharjah, Ajman, Umal Quiamn , Ras Al Khaima and then to the Arabian Gulf. If you go further right behind the paper (South) you cross Al Ain, Abu Dhabi till you kiss the feet of KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia).

Now that you have fair idea about the geography of Dubai It will be easier for me to explain “Sands” to you. This huge property of Hotel Apartments is developed and run by Arenco Properties. The reputation of the hotels is quite good but the reputation of the area is quite poor- we will revisit the same later. Most of the Hotels in Dubai are Hotel Apartments. They can be from Studio Apartment to Three Room Apartments (3BHK in Mumbai style). They are fully furnished with Kitchen, Washing Machine etc. etc. They are rented from daily to yearly basis. Self sustained apartments with full privacy – that’s a key word – Privacy.

Shop Till You Drop

Now they put you up in a Hotel Apartment where there is a possibility to cook your food. So what’s the next thing you do – find out a place to buy your grocery? Now there is no “Kiran Kirana Bhandar” or “ Santosh Stores” around. You need to find the nearest Supermarket – one stop solution for all your needs. It reminds me of one of our partners in India – Tej Control. Their visiting card read at the end,” Tej Controls – one stop solution for your Automation needs.”
Now the nearest to the “Golden Sands 9” was Spinney’s. It’s a big chain of Supermarkets.
There are four big chains in UAE – Spinney’s, LuLu, Choitram & Carrefour – British, Keralite, Indian & French.
To me Kerala is God’s own country – so I dare not club it with India.

Now all the Supermarkets cater to different taste and have different strategy.

LuLu caters mostly to Indian and more specifically to Keralite taste. It was founded by Mr. Yousaf Ali M.A, a person who came with Rs 1000 to Dubai and has made a fortune in one generation. Now he the MD & Chairman of EMKE group, one of the biggest Indian conglomerate in Middle East. LuLu is not only in UAE but throughout the Gulf and now he plans to open 50 Supermarkets in India. You name it and you get it in LuLu.

Choitram – they started as traders in Dubai way back in sixties and then diversified to supermarkets as one of their businesses. They are the first to open Supermarkets in the posh Communities and serve the Europeans with their choice – but if you want to have Nuremberger “Bratwurst” in Dubai, you need to pay the price. They are niche players, in short.

Spinney’s also caters to Europeans but also to classy India expatriates. They have a tie up with HSBC, so if you bank with HSBC, you got to go to Spinney’s to take out money. They also have MMI – i.e. from where you can buy Liquor by providing your license. Focused business with strong customer base – mostly Brits & Russians. They have the best of Bakery among all Supermarkets.

Carrefour is huge. They have very few outlets but they are like Wal-Mart, “Everyday Low Prices”. They cater to all tastes but with a little inclination towards the Arabic people. They are so huge that you can safely move around with your “date” even when your wife is there in the same supermarket, lost in one of the aisles. The butchery section & Fish section is quite big – even they offer “whole” goat – if you are interested.

Now these were the branded ones. Besides these there are lot of small to big shopping malls in most localities + local Grocery shops , which can in some way related to Kiran & Santosh as mentioned above.

But what fascinates me is the fact that all the supermarkets & Grocery shops can sustain by themselves. This makes one thing very clear – the purchasing power of people in Dubai is quite high.

The "TEA" Tale

I realized that I had not posted a blog till date in the month of September. Partially the fact lies in, that it’s the end of our company’s financial year and we are pretty busy trying to meet the targets.
Besides I was involved in some sort of study in a sector which is totally strange to me – Tea. The fascination for this sector grew mostly thru FM radio reviews.
First let me state some facts about the market and then to the weird reviews which led me to delve deep into this sector.

“The tea market in the Greater Middle East is worth more than three billion dollars. In the GCC, Unilever enjoys 80 percent market share and 90 percent household penetration.”

The amount (volume) of Tea Uniliver (Lipton) sells in UAE is measure in terms of – multiples of the weight of number of Free Willie (Tiger Shark). Before that it was multiples of the weight of number of full grown Elephants. This reports led me to do some research and also find out how “Lipton” can create such a market.

Alcoholic drinks are not freely available in UAE, They are available in Restaurants with permit, but it’s costly. Also due to religious biases people evade alcoholic drinks. The favorite pastime of Arabs which also has percolated to other nationals is smoking “Sisha” or “water pipes”. Along with Sisha – a brewing cup of “Mint Tea”.
Even in restaurants after your meal people will offer you a cup of “Mint Tea”. That’s the local custom here.
The recipe for Mint Tea is quite simple – take a cup of boiling water, put some mint leaves and a tea bag of Lipton Yellow Label and its ready to sip.

Coffee (Arabic/Turkish) is the biggest competitor for Tea and you have another big brand fighting it out – Nestle. But with people becoming more health conscious and doctors advising you to drink Tea which is a lesser Devil among the two, Tea consumption is gaining ground. Some figures:
Tea Bag Consumption – 73% in 2003 to 75% in 2005 while in the same period consumption of Coffee (Traditional) has declined from 61% in 2003 to 57% in 2005. But it’s not that simple – the market share for traditional coffee has been cannibalized by modern/branded coffees & exotic coffees like Cappuccino, moc-ha, etc. with penetration of “Coffee Pubs” like Starbucks, Second Cup, and Costa etc.

Till 2003 sale of loose tea outnumbered the sale of tea bags by 60 to 40. But with repositioning of tea for the middle & high income group the sale of tea bags is gaining prominence. There has been whole lot of product expansions in the tea market, Uniliver alone has 23 varieties under the Lipton brand and each focused to a target group. The promotion also varies.
While Yellow Label tea bag commercial boats of Asian faces the same for Lipton Pyramid targets the local Arabs. In similar fashion Lipton Earl Grey which is focused on the up market segment, the commercial shows a multinational crowd in a Hi Tech office.

Also the theme for the commercial varies – in some it focuses on the energy aspect of the drink while in some it stresses on the “alertness” factor. For Lipton Earl Grey the message is,” It’s cool to drink Tea.”

Aerated Drinks and Juices has started threatening the Tea market in a big way and given the account of summer temperatures in UAE they are sure to make some grounds, mostly as local companies have started selling “Butter Milk” & “Coconut Water” in Tetra packs.

But at least for some time to come Uniliver bosses can comfortably sip on their profits with a cup of “Mint Tea”.

Show Me The Money, Honey

Dubai is fast becoming a tourist hub. More Hotels, more Hotel Apartments and more malls coming up. Dubai isn't fortunate to have great historical heritage or places of scenic beauty to attract nature lovers. It has got desert, miles & miles of it and a temperature which in no ways can be referred to be soothing. But Dubai does have the resilience to make a name for it. It attracts tourists who can afford the luxuries of Dubai and if you want to talk about luxuries you can’t find things in Dubai that you can get in other parts of the world. You have the worlds first 7 star hotel in Burj Al Arab. The biggest mall in the Dubai Mall and the biggest theme park is being made in Dubai land and top class call girls (sorry, but for people with money that’s the biggest luxury).
Dubai is also trying to create some artificial greenery, some places which can give your eyes a break after being strained looking at the deserts or the reflections of the sunrays from the concrete high-rises, in terms of parks. Zabbel Park which just got inaugurated in January is a sprawling 20 acre piece of land in the heart of the city. It boasts a playground for children, amusement rides, and cozy nooks for discreet lovers and pathways for simply strolling.
Then there is the sea and the beaches. Most of the five star hotels on the sea shore have private beaches, with opulent facilities. You can find the anemic whites lying on the beach chairs in their birth attire with their bums facing the sun. Then there are public beaches nicely maintained and charged a minimum of 5 Dhs for maintenance. Some days are designated as family day and some especially for ladies (heard so, to find out the authenticity have to be there once and find out how serious they are.)
Dubai tried to put some historical perspective into the city but it’s really difficult. The colonization of the people and formation of states and country started in the 50’s. Before that it was mostly like tribal rulers fighting against one another for a piece of desert. But still half a century gives some historical credibility and the same has been nicely reflected in “Bastakiya”- the history of Dubai. There is also Centre of Islamic Art and other cultural places but nothing to attract the tourists in hoards.
In winter the Dubai Creek and the desert provides good entertainment. There are dinner cruises in lovely wooden steamers in the Dubai creek. Earlier they used to have “belly dance” on board but for obvious reasons that has been banned from 2005. Even you can personally hire an Abra (a small boat) and sail down the creek in the comforting winter breeze.
The desert gets cooler in winter and you have conducted “Desert Safari”. They take you the desert, drive you through the dunes in 4X4, make you ride in camels and provide you with sumptuous barbeque in a desert camp.
The beautiful girls belly dance to Arabic music by the side of camp fire. The experience is intoxicated, pixilated.
But on the whole Dubai is for those who have money and can afford to have people to count that money. Its for the rich, richer & the richest.

A Pleasant Summer Tale

What used to ail Dubai were the hot summer months from May to August. Most of the expats went home during this period; schools remain closed for 3 months and business used to take a downward dip. But with Dubai Summer Surprise and special promotion from the tourism department things have changed. Also what changed is the perception of the people who stayed back in Dubai during those months. For tourists Hotels offered special rates, Malls celebrated DSS not only with discounts but also with in house entertainment.
What I like the most was that strategy adopted by the mall owners during the DSS. How can you keep back the people back in Dubai during these summer months? The answer, although seems quite simple when you think of it now, but was really challenging. If you keep the children back, where will their parents fly? The focus in the DSS were children, captivate them in all possible ways, entertain them, put adventure in their lives. DSS has a mascot in the name of “Madosh” – it looks more like me and that’s what makes it amusing for kids.
I reluctantly had to take my kid (off course that’s my wife) to Lamcy Plaza most of the Fridays. She was more interested in the shopertainment rather than the kid’s shows. Does anyone understand that shops cannot sell any product less then their buying price? That’s this concepts defeats all purpose of doing business. Are the shop owners there to make charity during the summer months? But how do you make this understand to kids and WOMEN. They both belong to a different world. Maybe that’s a topic which cannot be covered in a blog – I mean it can be if some site offers unlimited MB space and someone has the nerve to put the rest of his life in writing on this topic.
You are grounded because your kids want to have some fun and the weather is too hot outside. So the only place to venture around is in the malls. That’s sometimes pretty costly for prime earner in the family (no biases) but you are in Dubai not only to make money, to spend something also.
As per a recent survey the footfalls in the malls have increased this summer. What used to be a loss making season has become profitable. Dubai has flair of turning around things and this is just one of them.
What can you expect next – an air-conditioned canopy covering parts of the desert for people to enjoy?
If Mall of Emirates has a Ski slope, my idea may not be absolute junk.
EMMAR, NAKHEEL are you listening?

Post It, Your Way

The most surprising thing in Dubai is that they are no Postal Addresses. There are no building numbers – only names. The major streets have name but as for the remaining you can call it by any name you like. It has got some similarity to Mumbai, in terms of buildings having proper address.
When you need to visit any establishment here you have to ask for the “Location Map”. It comes by fax and then you have to follow the map and reach the location – nice way.

There are Post Offices in UAE and then you can register to Post Office Boxes. All your letters should carry your P.O Box number and it will accumulate in your box. There is no mailman running around delivering your post – strange, isn’t it?

Now our countrymen are always ingenious in doing something different and making us “Proud”. But they do not realize that it vitiates the entire country’s image when they write, talk or publish about their resourceful practices.
Mails if they come from India are mostly from Kerala. Mostly it’s the family of the labourers who still believe in snail mail – for others telephone or Email has taken precedence.
Recently the local newspaper published a report on the “Stamp Scam”. They have just learnt the word “Scam” here – another import from our beloved country.

A person buys a postal stamp in India and daubs the face of the stamp with a thin film of transparent glue. Then he pastes the stamp in the envelope and sends it to UAE by post. The receiver cuts out the stamp, puts the same in water. The effect is that the stamp not only comes out of the envelope but since the front side was glued, the official marking (the stamp) comes out along with the glue. So the stamp is ready for use the next time.
After being caught the response of the wrongdoer was simple,” His family is too poor to buy postal stamps”. I can sympathize with the idea that they are poor but that does not give them the license to felony.
But in the same breath I cannot crucify them also.

Have We Achieved Our Rights

Coming back to Dubai and why I should not crucify my fellow Indian expats – The city is going through a huge infrastructure boom. And this needs a huge amount of skilled/unskilled workforce. The cheapest source is from India/Pakistan/Bangladesh. But 75% of the workers are from India.
The recruitment agencies bring people from India, especially Kerala, by luring them with the prospect of good salary & better working environment.
But once they reach the country their dreams are shattered.
The monthly salary a labourer gets is 500Dihrams (equivalent to Rs 6000) and they are made to stay in labour camps. Labour camp is a like a huge mess – ten people are stacked in one room with a common toilet. They are given daily food, carried to worksite by a company bus and after the days job brought back to the camp in their dungeons. The work condition – think of piling or digging in the construction site at, 48 – 53C.
Here the newspapers would never declare temperatures above 50C, because as per human rights you have to stop all construction activities for temperatures above 50C. But everyone knows the truth and no one will say anything – that’s life.
As per the statistics released by Indian Consulate, the suicide rate among the Indian labourers is increasing. This year (2006), till date more than 100 workers have committed suicide. The reason being the same, they could not cope up with the living conditions and they were too afraid to go back sans they will lose their face with the family and the society.
In developing nations we do hear a lot of NGOs – mostly all socialites are attached to an NGO. But do you ever come across any of those creatures here – no way!! In Dubai you are to make money, do not care to bother about others.
Recently during the Independence Day week lot of good thoughts, Power point presentations were floating around in the Net. All of them glorified India, they exalted the growth and development in India, were proud to announce how Indians were taking over the world.
One said, 37% of the people working in NASA are Indians, 25% of the medical practitioners are Indians, and 13 to 36% of workers in IBM, Microsoft, and Xerox are Indians.
Yes, if this is the real statistics we should be proud, but will someone add 80% of labourers on Gulf are Indians who are treated like rodents, discriminated and given a status no better than a slave.
All these glorifications lose their value in front of the massacre of Humanity that takes place in the Gulf in the name of Money.
We the educated lot has certain responsibility towards our society and should not have an ostrich attitude towards things that pain us from within. How long will these festering wounds be sequestered in our hearts?
How long will we prove to the world that we are a nation with a cheap source of labour?
How long will the developed countries take advantage of our enduring poverty?
Yes, we are intelligent, we have the capability to rule, but as they say,” Charity begins at home”.

I, for instance, would feel better when poverty is eradicated, people are educated enough to call away the bluffs of recruiting agents and we all together can rise and demand our rightful position & status in the world society.

Business, The Du "Bhai" Way

The best of the brands are available in the Gulf like in any developed country. But there lies a difference. In Gulf the product owners do not decide on their strategy, they are just observers to the entire game that is run by the local exclusive agents.
Decades ago when the Gulf was not developed like the way it is now, but still then the rich locals had enough money to afford the luxuries, the companies in the name of spreading their reach gave exclusive distributorship to local companies. By decree it was also not possible to sell anything in the Gulf without a local partner – the rulers wanted to protect the interest of the locals, ala India till eighties.
All companies whether selling pins or luxurious automobiles had to have a local partner. And that agreement stuck to them like a constricted leather jacket till now. Look at Siemens, Toyota, Mercedes, BMW, GE all big guns in their own rights are now pawns to their local agents.
Toyota does not decide how many cars they should sell in Dubai; it’s decided by their agent Al Futtaim.
Al Gargash decides the marketing strategy of Mercedes in the Gulf, the promotions they should run and the prices they should offer in the market.
Can anyone believe that one has to wait for months to get hold of Honda Civic or Toyota Corolla in Dubai? While the fact is that if you drive down to the bordering country Oman, you can get it off the shelf.
It’s more of a sophisticated monopoly in all segments in the name of protecting the interests of the locals.
I believe Dubai or for that fact UAE is losing its competitiveness.
Take for example telecom, throughout UAE there is only one player – Etisalat like our own MTNL. They provide landline, mobile & cable service. Just relate to the services you can derive out of Etisalat, Its painful. Since Etisalat only had the rights to televise World Cup Football, they made the interested viewers cough out AED400 for a month and guaranteed a year’s viewer ship along with the deal.
This year after much criticize & public frustration a new provider has emerged, Du. But both Etisalat & Du are controlled by the rulers of Abu Dhabi & Dubai respectively. So one has to wait and see how competitive they are, given the fact that Du is using the existing infrastructure of Etisalat.
Moeller, one the renowned electrical & electronics product manufacturers from Germany in represented in UAE solely by Juma Al Majid. The products are available only for their consumption, that’s the way it is. Full stop. ABB had the same fate with Al Gandhi. It took them 8 years court battle and 30 million AED in compensation to get out of this exclusive agreement. Siemens is still trapped in the same fate.

But all distributors do not have the same philosophy. If they are business minded they can make fortunes. For example Jumbo, the sole distributors for Sony, They have taken the brand to such heights that they lead the market in most of the product segments they are present in. Jumbo has made the art of distribution to near perfect. They have a vast network of retailers and a huge logistics & distribution system. Jumbo has its own store in most localities but its more of brand promotion, new product introductions and the stuffs. Their prices are always higher than the retailers and the promotions always focus on the retailers.
The same is true for Nokia. No one knows the name of the sole distributor for Nokia. The market share for Nokia is more than 55% in UAE. It boasts of an excellent after sales service in every nook and corner of the city and has created an entry barrier to most of the competitors in terms of pricing & service.

So every coin has two sides, the heads & the tails. WTO has set a dateline for 2010 and most companies are waiting for that. UAE has also realized that it has to be competitive to make it in this competitive world. The government is trying to implement a law by which multinationals can open companies in UAE without a local partner. We all hope it’s for the betterment of the economy and the customers.

Business, The Du "Bhai" Way

The best of the brands are available in the Gulf like in any developed country. But there lies a difference. In Gulf the product owners do not decide on their strategy, they are just observers to the entire game that is run by the local exclusive agents.
Decades ago when the Gulf was not developed like the way it is now, but still then the rich locals had enough money to afford the luxuries, the companies in the name of spreading their reach gave exclusive distributorship to local companies. By decree it was also not possible to sell anything in the Gulf without a local partner – the rulers wanted to protect the interest of the locals, ala India till eighties.
All companies whether selling pins or luxurious automobiles had to have a local partner. And that agreement stuck to them like a constricted leather jacket till now. Look at Siemens, Toyota, Mercedes, BMW, GE all big guns in their own rights are now pawns to their local agents.
Toyota does not decide how many cars they should sell in Dubai; it’s decided by their agent Al Futtaim.
Al Gargash decides the marketing strategy of Mercedes in the Gulf, the promotions they should run and the prices they should offer in the market.
Can anyone believe that one has to wait for months to get hold of Honda Civic or Toyota Corolla in Dubai? While the fact is that if you drive down to the bordering country Oman, you can get it off the shelf.
It’s more of a sophisticated monopoly in all segments in the name of protecting the interests of the locals.
I believe Dubai or for that fact UAE is losing its competitiveness.
Take for example telecom, throughout UAE there is only one player – Etisalat like our own MTNL. They provide landline, mobile & cable service. Just relate to the services you can derive out of Etisalat, Its painful. Since Etisalat only had the rights to televise World Cup Football, they made the interested viewers cough out AED400 for a month and guaranteed a year’s viewer ship along with the deal.
This year after much criticize & public frustration a new provider has emerged, Du. But both Etisalat & Du are controlled by the rulers of Abu Dhabi & Dubai respectively. So one has to wait and see how competitive they are, given the fact that Du is using the existing infrastructure of Etisalat.
Moeller, one the renowned electrical & electronics product manufacturers from Germany in represented in UAE solely by Juma Al Majid. The products are available only for their consumption, that’s the way it is. Full stop. ABB had the same fate with Al Gandhi. It took them 8 years court battle and 30 million AED in compensation to get out of this exclusive agreement. Siemens is still trapped in the same fate.

But all distributors do not have the same philosophy. If they are business minded they can make fortunes. For example Jumbo, the sole distributors for Sony, They have taken the brand to such heights that they lead the market in most of the product segments they are present in. Jumbo has made the art of distribution to near perfect. They have a vast network of retailers and a huge logistics & distribution system. Jumbo has its own store in most localities but its more of brand promotion, new product introductions and the stuffs. Their prices are always higher than the retailers and the promotions always focus on the retailers.
The same is true for Nokia. No one knows the name of the sole distributor for Nokia. The market share for Nokia is more than 55% in UAE. It boasts of an excellent after sales service in every nook and corner of the city and has created an entry barrier to most of the competitors in terms of pricing & service.

So every coin has two sides, the heads & the tails. WTO has set a dateline for 2010 and most companies are waiting for that. UAE has also realized that it has to be competitive to make it in this competitive world. The government is trying to implement a law by which multinationals can open companies in UAE without a local partner. We all hope it’s for the betterment of the economy and the customers.

When Winter Comes

Summer months are almost over. The temperature is on the decline. People in Dubai, they hold a record for short distance sprint between car park & home, are venturing out for fresh air and some breeze in the evening. Nights are getting longer and night life is getting more extravagant. The trade which gets subdued in summer has started flourishing. More Russian & Eastern European girls in the street. The “Shawarma” cones are getting bigger & thicker in anticipation of higher sales. Restaurant/Pub owners are decorating the “open air” area.
Agencies have started promotion for the “Desert Safari” and “Creek Tours”. Within months the beautifully light boats will be sailing around the creek and competition for share will become fierce. More people will be found jogging/walking along the corniche. People will come out of hibernation and first thing they will realize is that their waist line has increased, so run, run, and run.
Hotels will start hiking up their rates, tourists will flock in hoards, and Dubai will be fairer than in summer. In the malls Asians will not get the same attention they get in summer, more waggle to attract foreign tourists with cash. Bag packers will never visit malls, will head towards Fujairah and soak in the sun in the serene beaches.
Life will change dramatically. People will go to office early so that they can leave early (where they have flexi time). People, usually lazy like a crocodile in summer, will suddenly be rejuvenated and tend to overdo in anything they would try to do. Traffic will increase, more time in car, more stress related heart attacks and more assurance from the traffic department, that solution is just round the corner. Where the street bends in a corner is very difficult to find out.
Parks will be flooded with people, from people having a good time to some enjoying barbeque.
Sell of Playstation or X-Box will relatively go down as kids will be more involved in becoming Sachin Tendulkar or Ian Botham. Electricity bills will go down due to sparse use of air conditioning and women will try to spend the savings in shopping.
More young guys will go to the beaches, not for bathing but bird watching. Bare white flesh in golden sand like button mushrooms growing in negligence in the wilderness, scattered and not cared about, only watched from time to time by ones who can only dream but for them reality bites.
Flamingoes will come in the lagoon. The pink shades will merge into the blue of the ocean to create an illusion of sunset.
Dubai, the city of Gold, the paradise on Desert will be more gorgeous.
And I will be busy packing my bag to leave.